Do you know what I am really bad at? Just like many women, I find it extremely difficult to ask for help. I want everyone around me to believe that I can do everything myself, that I’m self-sufficient, totally equipped to handle any situation and life in general. The truth is, does such a person really exist?
I have problems in my life and experience the usual bumps in the road but I try to look at life in a positive light and I usually approach each difficulty with a focus on finding a solution and view them as challenges rather than problems. However, when you build up this illusion of being someone that can do anything - it can be even harder to ask for help.
Overall, I consider myself lucky with my troubles as I know that each and every one of you will also have your daily challenges and some will be a lot more serious and have a much higher impact on you and your loved ones lives. Some of you will have troubles, that in light of what I’m experiencing, are minor but all the same, every one’s problems are serious to them. There can never be comparisons to discovery who has the worst or most challenging issues. They all matter to the person who has them!
I came across a headline today when scrolling through Facebook and I can’t find it now as I’m writing this but it really appealed to me. It was about Jim Carrey and his path to spiritual enlightenment and he was quoted to say something along the lines of “needing to drop your armour”. I know I have armour that I don’t like to take off as I fear what everyone will see is that I’m just a normal person, like everyone else. The shell or protective layer that I have built up over the years is helpful but at times, it’s my worst enemy.
So if you come across my name and think that I have it all under control, that I know where I’m going and that I have it all so easy – compared to many in this world – this might be absolutely true! However, I need help and support just as much as the next person. I don’t have all the answers and I don’t have a master plan. I do things from my heart and with love as often as I can and from now on, I will start asking for help when I need it and pay attention to dropping my armour piece by piece.
I’m scared, but excited to see where this will take me…
Kicki Hansard is a member of Doula UK, however any opinions expressed on this blog are personal views and not necessarily the view of Doula UK.