01
People often ask me what
makes BirthBliss different
It's an interesting question because, if you'd asked me twenty years ago, I suspect I would have talked about the course itself. Today my answer is very different. The ideas you'll find here haven't appeared overnight. They've grown slowly over many years, through births, conversations, books, mistakes, moments of uncertainty and thousands of hours spent alongside families. They've been shaped by remarkable teachers and colleagues and most of all, by the parents who trusted me enough to allow me into one of the most important days of their lives.
Every birth has left me with something to think about. Sometimes that has been something joyful. Sometimes uncomfortable. Occasionally it has challenged something I thought I already knew. I hope that never stops happening.
I don't think becoming a good doula is about reaching a point where you have all the answers. I think it's about remaining curious enough to keep asking better questions. That, to me, is the BirthBliss Way.
02
Where it all began
When I became a doula in 2002, very few people in the UK had heard the word. The idea that someone might support a woman emotionally and practically through pregnancy and birth, without being a midwife or a doctor, was unfamiliar to most people.
I was fortunate to be one of the founding members of Doula UK and to witness those early conversations that helped shape the profession in this country.
My own path has taken me in a different direction since then and I'm no longer part of the organisation. That decision wasn't made lightly and, if you're interested, I've written about it elsewhere.
2002
Became a birth doula
2002
Founding member of Doula UK
2005
Began training doulas
2012
Founded The BirthBliss Doula Academy
Today
More than 1,500 doulas trained
and still learning from every family
The journey continues with every birth, every family and every doula we train.
03
The people who shaped my thinking
I've had the privilege of learning directly from some remarkable people whose work has influenced birth practice around the world.
Penny Simkin • Phyllis Klaus • Sheila Kitzinger
Michel Odent • Kerstin Uvnäs Moberg
Dr Jack Newman • Frédérick Leboyer
Ina May Gaskin
I'm enormously grateful to have learned from each of these extraordinary people. Their influence can still be seen throughout BirthBliss today.
One of the proudest moments of my career was inviting Penny Simkin to teach here in the UK, watching students learn from someone whose work had influenced so many of us.
The people who have taught me the most have rarely been standing at the front of a lecture theatre. They've been the families.
04
What I've come to believe
If there's one thing birth has taught me, it's that people rarely need us to be extraordinary. They need us to be present. Birth isn't always calm. It isn't always straightforward. Sometimes it is joyful and sometimes it is deeply challenging. None of that changes the value of good support.
Over the years I've become less interested in what a doula does and more interested in how a doula is. Knowledge matters, of course. Yet I come home from births thinking less about what I did and more about whether I listened carefully enough, whether I noticed the quieter person in the room, whether I gave someone enough space to find their own words.
I don't think people need fixing. Most people already have far more strength than they realise. They need someone who helps them sort through the noise and reconnect with their own judgement.
Every family has a story we cannot see. Some stories are shared openly. Others remain private. Kindness shouldn't depend on disclosure. Respect shouldn't have to be earned. It should be where we begin.
The longer I've worked in birth, the more I've realised that this way of thinking extends far beyond trauma. Every person who comes to us arrives with their own experiences, beliefs, culture, hopes and fears.
That is where the BirthBliss Compass began.
Not as a framework I created, but as a way of describing the qualities that make the greatest difference.
Curiosity before certainty
Openness to difference
Mindfulness in the moment
Presence without agenda
Awareness beyond the surface
Self-reflection that leads to growth
Support that empowers
These qualities continue to grow throughout a lifetime of practice.
05
The BirthBliss Compass
Seven principles that guide the way we support families and teach doulas.
Curiosity
We wonder before we conclude. We ask thoughtful questions. We look beneath the words to understand the whole person, not simply the situation. Curiosity helps us support families without assumptions or judgement.
Openness
Being open doesn't mean having no opinions. It means recognising that our experiences are different from somebody else's. Openness allows us to support families with respect, even when their choices differ from our own.
Mindfulness
We stay aware of ourselves as well as the people we're supporting. We notice our thoughts, our emotions and our reactions so they don't quietly shape the care we offer. Mindfulness helps us respond rather than react.
Presence
We don't need to fill every silence or have an answer for every question. Sometimes the greatest gift we can offer is our full attention. Calm, steady and completely present.
Awareness
We recognise that every family is shaped by previous experiences, culture, relationships, personality and circumstance. Awareness helps us see the bigger picture rather than focusing only on the birth itself.
Self-reflection
We regularly pause to ask ourselves what we're bringing into the relationship. Every birth teaches us something. Every family helps us grow. Reflection allows us to become more thoughtful and more compassionate with every experience.
Support
True support isn't about taking over. It's about helping people discover their own strength. We stand beside families rather than in front of them, believing they already have the wisdom to make the decisions that are right for them.
06
Why this changes the way we teach
Our courses are grounded in evidence, experience and reflection. We explore the physiology of birth, communication, safeguarding, boundaries and the realities of working as a professional doula. But we also look at the deeper things.
We talk about our responses, our assumptions and the importance of ongoing self-awareness. We encourage critical thinking, collaboration with maternity professionals and respect for every family's right to make their own decisions.
BirthBliss doulas leave with knowledge and practical skills, but also with humility, curiosity and a commitment to keep learning long after the course is over.
07
Learning never really finishes
After all these years I still leave births with questions. I still read new research. I still change my mind. I hope I always will.
Birth has given me far more than a career. It has shaped who I am. It has connected me with extraordinary people and reminded me that we are all still learning.
If these ideas resonate with you, I'd love to welcome you to BirthBliss.
Kicki x
Founder
The BirthBliss Doula Academy
