Finding your first doula clients

It took me six months to get my first doula job when I started in 2002. I often share this with the women on my courses because I know how easy it is to finish your training, feel ready to begin and then start wondering whether anyone will choose you.

You have spent time learning, thinking about the kind of doula you want to be and imagining yourself supporting families. Then you put yourself out there and wait. When nothing happens straight away, that little voice in your head can become quite busy.

My first clients came through an established doula. She had met with them and suggested they also meet me. I went along and was honest about being new. They were excited about the idea of being my first clients and chose me.

I still remember that. They knew where I was starting from and were happy to begin with me. We felt comfortable together and there was a connection.

Over the years, I have met many new doulas who worry about getting that first booking. Having supported families myself and trained doulas for many years, there are a few things I find myself coming back to.

Let people know you are ready

From what I have seen, many doulas find their first clients through other doulas or through friends and family. An introduction, a recommendation or a conversation can lead to someone getting in touch.

This means the people around you need to know that you are ready to take clients. They also need to understand what you offer well enough to explain it to someone else.

If you tell a friend you have trained as a doula, they may be pleased for you without really knowing what that means. Explain the support you provide and who might find it helpful.

You could tell them that you support women during pregnancy and birth or spend time with families at home after their baby arrives. Give them something they can picture and remember.

You do not need to make every conversation about your business. Allow people to see your enthusiasm and know that they can pass your details on if someone is looking for support.

Get to know other doulas

My own first booking is one example of how valuable relationships between doulas can be.

An established doula may receive an enquiry for dates they cannot cover. They may meet a family and feel that another doula would be a good fit. They might need someone to provide backup or share some postnatal work.

Getting to know local doulas gives you the chance to build those relationships. Meet for a coffee, attend a gathering or introduce yourself when there is an opportunity.

Take an interest in them and their work. Find out how they practise, the areas they cover and what they enjoy about being a doula.

Trust grows through getting to know each other. A doula who recommends you is putting their own name behind that introduction so it helps if they have had the chance to understand who you are and how you work.

There is also something reassuring about having people around you who understand doula life. Those relationships can become a source of support long after your first booking.

Notice the gremlin on your shoulder

Most of us have a little gremlin on our shoulder. It tends to become particularly talkative when we are doing something new.

You are too young. You are too old. You have not had children. You have only had caesareans. You breastfed your babies so you do not know how to prepare formula.

Perhaps you worry that you are too quiet or that someone else seems more confident. Whatever your circumstances, that gremlin will probably find something to say.

Some worries point towards things you need to learn. If you do not know how to support safe formula preparation, that is something you can learn through current guidance. If you are unsure about an aspect of your role, you can ask questions and seek support.

Other worries are assumptions about what people want from a doula. We need a variety of doulas because women and families are different.

Some women feel drawn to someone with a motherly or grandmotherly presence. Others would like someone who feels more like a sister or a friend. People connect through personality, background, humour, shared experiences and all sorts of things we cannot predict.

The quality you feel uncertain about may be something another person appreciates. Give people the opportunity to get to know you before deciding on their behalf that they would prefer someone else.

Be honest about being new

I think it is important to be open about your experience. If someone would be your first client, tell them.

You can explain that you have completed your training, that you are beginning to work with families and that you are looking forward to supporting your first clients. Talk about the support you have around you and answer their questions honestly.

You do not need to apologise for being at the beginning.

Every experienced doula had a first client. There was a first antenatal meeting, a first time being called to a birth and a first postnatal visit.

Families can feel excited about being part of that beginning. Mine did.

Of course, people need clear information about your experience so they can make their own decision. Some will want someone who has attended many births. Others will feel comfortable choosing a newly trained doula they connect with.

Allow room for both. You are looking for the families who feel comfortable with you and whose needs you can meet.

Let the first meeting be a conversation

When you meet a potential client, remember that you are getting to know each other. You are both considering whether you would feel comfortable working together.

Ask what has led them to look for a doula. Find out what they are hoping for, what matters to them and whether there is anything they are feeling worried about.

Listen to their answers. You do not have to fill every pause or have a solution ready for everything they mention.

Explain your support in relation to what they have told you. If they are worried about being alone during labour, talk about your availability and how your birth support works. If they are looking for postnatal help, explore what they imagine needing at home.

Give them time to ask questions too. They may want to understand your experience, your fee, your backup arrangements or how often you would meet.

A helpful meeting leaves both of you with a clearer understanding of what working together might look like.

A top tip, try to loosen your grip on being hired

When you really want your first booking, it is understandable to hope that this will be the family who chooses you.

Try to notice whether that hope is making you feel desperate to be hired. People can often sense when someone needs them to say yes and that pressure can feel off putting.

You might find yourself talking too much, agreeing to things you have not thought through or offering a discount before anyone has asked about your fee.

Before the meeting, remind yourself that you are there to learn about this family and see whether you can work well together. You have something worthwhile to offer and they have a decision to make.

Being excited about supporting them is lovely. Give them space to consider their choice.

You can be warm, interested and clear about your service while remaining comfortable with the possibility that they may choose someone else. That steadiness helps you listen and keeps your boundaries available to you.

Afterwards, send the information you agreed to share and explain the next step. Allow them some breathing room to decide.

Show the value of your support

During the BirthBliss course, we spend time working out what providing doula support will cost and what you need to earn on top of those costs.

Think about the time involved, travel, insurance, preparation and the other expenses that come with running your business. Your fee needs to make sense for your circumstances and the service you offer.

Once you have decided on your usual fee, you might choose to offer an introductory discount for your first three or four clients.

The point is to show the full value of the support and how much the family is saving.

For example, if your birth doula package is £1,000 and you offer your first three clients a 50 per cent discount, they can see that they are receiving a package normally priced at £1,000 for £500. Their saving is clear.

If you advertise the package at £500 without explaining your usual fee, they have no way of knowing that it is an introductory offer or what the saving is.

Use your actual intended fee and describe what the package includes. Be clear about how many bookings the offer covers and choose a discount you can afford.

The figures here are an example. Your price needs to reflect your own work.

Make it easy to understand what you offer

New doulas sometimes create several packages and add lots of services because they want to appeal to as many people as possible.

I often suggest starting with one clear service. You can develop other offers as you learn more about the work you enjoy and the needs of the families contacting you.

Someone reading your website should be able to understand what they can book, what is included and how to get in touch.

If you offer postnatal visits, explain what your time together might involve. Perhaps you can help with meals, listen while they talk through their birth or care for their baby while they rest. Practical examples help a family imagine having you in their home.

Read your page as though you have never heard of a doula. Would you understand what you were paying for? Would you know what to do next?

Talk about the person you hope to support

Your story has a place on your website. People may be interested in what brought you to doula work and the experiences that shaped you.

Give enough space to their story too.

A woman looking for support may be wondering who will listen to her, how she will cope or whether she can ask for help without feeling judged. A family looking for postnatal care may be tired and trying to work out what would make daily life feel more manageable.

Help them understand how your support could meet those needs.

You can share something of yourself while keeping the focus on the person reading. Think about the questions they might have and the reassurance they need to take the next step.

This also helps when you introduce yourself to other professionals. A clear explanation of what you offer makes it easier for them to recognise when someone might benefit from meeting you.

Give your connections time to grow

Being self employed means learning to live with some uncertainty. You can put care and effort into your business and still have quiet periods.

I sometimes think of networking as little tentacles reaching out. You meet another doula, speak to an antenatal teacher, tell a friend or introduce yourself to someone working with local families.

You cannot always see where those connections are going. Someone may remember you months later when a client asks about doula support or a friend announces a pregnancy.

Keep making connections and be willing to try different things. Notice the questions people ask. If they seem confused about your service, look again at how you describe it.

You can be patient while also reviewing what is working.

It took six months for my first clients to find me. They came through another doula and were happy to choose someone at the beginning of her work.

I hope that gives you something to remember when your own gremlin gets noisy. Let people know you are here, help them understand your support and give those relationships time to grow.